Small or large scale?

And so it was that the young farmer boy left town and took his first step into an epic adventure. But why does he have to leave town at all? There are still things to do. I can understand the need for narratives to build into all encompassing, epic adventures, where people, the planet and sometimes even the universe hang in the balance but I’ve always been a big fan of the small scale.


I never wanted to lead my men from their patrol of the small towns in the beginning of Myth. I didn’t want to step outside Kakariko village as a young Link in Zelda Ocarina of Time. Why’s everyone forcing this, ‘you are the chosen one’ in every Final Fantasy game on me, why can’t I hang out in the starting area indefinitely? Damn you story arcs!

Speedrun

I’m training, I’m training hard. My muscles are taught like steel cables, my eyes blurry with concentration, and my heart pounds with exertion. I’m beating my best time and then, the console dies. Obviously, I’m not training for the marathon, what with athletes relieving themselves along the roadside. I’m talking about the much more hygienic exertion that is ‘speed running.’ Speed running involves so much practice and OCDness that I’m sure if you rounded up the best speed runners in the world and hooked them all together, they would create a geek singularity.


Speed running is an attempt to get the fastest possible time for completing a game. This is either done by running a game so many times that every short cut is as memorable to you as Mickey Mouse’s sinister face or by a process known as ‘sequence breaking.’ Don’t be fooled, I thought the term sounded cool too, like it had some proximity to ‘hacking’ or ‘code breaking’ but in fact it’s more to do with utilising glitches within a given game. Lame. I’ve put two examples below but please lets try and isolate these people as much as possible less we suffer the geek black hole of doom.

Story driven: MMOs versus single player

I like conclusion. Finality. That’s not to say a story has to have a definitive ending but if something happens, I take it to have happened forever. That notion extends to films, TV, books, games etc once I’ve watched, read, played it, it’s happened. Defeating the enemy, the death of a character, whatever, once it’s been fused into my grey matter it becomes as permanent as the stain near the cat litter box.

Every single player game I’ve ever played has been resolved. I can talk to others and they can confirm these virtual events, like two mental patients finding something tangible in a world of shadows. Most of the time, when you’ve killed the evil aliens, monster, king and the game gives you the option to carry on playing, it’s sometimes to comply to the OCD completists amongst us, other times it’s included for those with low self esteem, who can be congratulated over and over again by mindless non-player characters, singing their praises for saving them and the virtual world they reside in.


The idea of people/players experiencing narratives together is demonstrated strongest in MMOs. In games such as Battlefield or Quake Wars the story acts simply as a motivation, beyond the base human need for competition and destruction. A game like World of Warcraft or Tabula Rasa rely more heavily on the narrative to move the gaming world forward, that and people’s need to get the best ‘loot’ for ‘bragging rights’ purposes.

What’s jarring to my irrational need for conclusion, is the idea of ‘respawning.’ It’s an essential game mechanic in MMOs that allows all players to attempt to kill the same end of dungeon boss or pick up object a) and take it to place b) but because of this very mechanic there can never be a sense of completion.


I’m all for replayability but only in the full knowledge that I know what happens at the conclusion of that game. I enjoyed playing Myth II over and over but I was always aware of what was going to happen next and how ultimately the villain was going to go down. It seems odd that a game like WoW can bring out new expansion packs with impressive trailers, that have villain x taunting, now it’s my turn, blah, blah, blah, when you and anyone else can retrace your steps and every bastard you wasted so many hours, gathering the right equipment for, mastering your skills etc can still be there smirking a pixalated smile. You can’t talk about a dynamically changing virtual world when so many aspects are so blatantly static.

Synectics’ top ten most genius people alive

The global consulting business Synectics’ top ten most genius people alive today…what makes them qualified to compile this list…dunno:


1= Albert Hofmann (Swiss) chemist (genius factor 27)

1= Tim Berners-Lee (British) computer scientist (27)

3 George Soros (American) investor and philanthropist (25)

4 Matt Groening (American) satirist and animator (24)

5= Nelson Mandela (South African) politician and diplomat (23)

5= Frederick Sanger (British) chemist (23)

7= Dario Fo (Italian) writer & dramatist (22)

7= Stephen Hawking (British) physicist (22)

9= Oscar Niemeyer (Brazilian) architect (21)

9= Philip Glass (American) composer (21)

9= Grigory Perelman (Russian) mathematician (21)

Matthew Barney, Drawing Restraint, Serpentine

Matthew Barney is a fawn but as well as that he’s a 2nd renaissance man, delving into the mediums of film, video, installations, sculpture, photography, drawing and performance art. I went to see his exhibition ‘Drawing Restraint’ at the Serpentine this weekend, mainly due to it being a nice day and the Serpentine’s free to boot.


I had no idea who Matthew Barney was other than he had some romantic connection to Icelandic, cyber, snow queen, Björk. I’d unwitteningly come across Barney before, on the cover of my girlfriend’s modern art book, looking like you’d imagine the devil might, if he were a metrosexual. The image was unsettlingly and if the book were left out in the open I’d do my best to ignore it.

Within the exhibition you can’t swing a hoof without hitting fawns galore. Photographs capturing a Greco-roman (or for the rest of you, WWF) type match, between two such mythical creatures are everywhere.


From what I gathered Barney spent a lot of time on a Japanese whaling boat. Apart from showing off his artistic skill, hanging off said boat and still managing to churn out some very good sketches, he must have seen the process of whale hunting in all its unpleasantness.

The installation pieces are large intimidating things, like the deck of a large vessel. He’s recreated the whaling deck covered in pristine white wax, harpoons and all. In another piece it looks like an unfortunate whale has just been carved up, large slabs of animal fat are rolled out like rotten garden lawns. It’s a great exhibit and highlights what someone with natural talent can achieve when they’re twisted mind is allowed to play with an assortment of materials. Just don’t tell Moby Dick.

Lord Puttnam: we need more moral virtual worlds

Opening a London conference about virtual worlds, Lord Puttnam, oscar-winning, film-maker said:

That all children will learn from these virtual spaces is that they are first and foremost consumers. He urged creators to build more moral virtual worlds that instill children with the values societies need.

How can someone with a lordship talk such utter Monkey Balls. Need I remind you that the strictest moral body around, the Vatican gave the ok to Pokemon and their ilk years ago, stating that it promoted responsibility and friendship.


There will always be the Bratz, Barbie’s and Webkinz etc, who lack the imagination and or are actively trying to extend their advertisements into the virtual space that children are increasing choosing to spend more of their free time in. But for every shallow tie-in there are genuinely fun and moral fiber building games.


Lego Universe the planned MMO based on the famous block building toy will give children the choice of taking on various civic roles within that world, such as a fireman, policeman etc. Viva Pinata encourages children to nurture fantastical animals and to be weary of the ‘bullies’ that will randomly trespass into their world, destroying what they’ve built. I believe if you look beyond the established brands that have promoted shallow values since their creation, a plethora of moralistic worlds exist within the virtual domain.

Offspring rat out parents on social networking sites

It’s like the end of Fatherland all over again. If you’re not familiar with the Robert Harris book or the TV adaptation staring Rutger Hauer, basically the Axis (the real one, not the George W. Bush one) won the Second World War. The Nazi’s have surpassed themselves in oppression. A detective discovers a plot that could cause Hitler quite an upset on his 60th birthday. I’m sort of spoiling the end but when it looks like our hero might succeed, his own son reports him to the secret police.


That’s one end of the jackboot (the pointy end) but the other is happening right now. More and more parents albeit in the US mostly, are finding that what their children say on social networking sites is coming back to stamp on them like the other end of the aforementioned jackboot.

“Many families are getting hurt according to internet safety expert Parry Aftab.

‘I've represented a lot of parents who've come to me when they have been fired, they've been demoted, or they've been called on the carpet because of what their kids posted online,’ Attab said.”

If I were you, I’d get your children to implement all the privacy options available; otherwise it’s the knock at the door in the middle of the night for you.