Monday, 2 July 2007

A murder of Crows

I recently saw a show that bared more than a passing resemblance to the Role-playing wet dream, Knightmare. Knightmare not only featured poor acting, worse CGI but also the emotionally scaring experiences of:

a) Seeing the main contestant literally wither away if they hadn't eaten for a while (a message to all you size zeros)

b) Being killed by all the usual fantasy fare: booby traps, faces in the wall (an evil glory hole) etc.

Innocent eyes forgave all this and tuned in just to hear team members shouting, "half a step, look right, put it in your satchel, say the password fuck-wit!"

It wasn't like Fun House where Pat Sharpe would guarantee some booty (no, not the twins). In all the time I watched Knighmare I can only remember one team actually getting the Crown, Sword, Shield, Dilido of Might+3. ONCE!

This new program is more like Crystal Maze (with the amazing Richard O'Brian) than Knightmare. Raven was hired because he could grow a beard and has a slight Scotch egg accent. Even the kids stare at him with contempt. He spews things like, "I'm sorry Tom but your aim was wayward and you now lose a life, like the tree loses leaves in Autumn." Er, yeah thanks for that massive insight, Pigeon was it?

Just to show it's not all child's play, there is one challenge called the Tree of Knowledge, where a talking bush, similar to the one in The Three Amigos asks true or false questions. I got them all wrong which just goes to show...something. Catch Raven on CBBC or TV Choice if you don't get in early enough.

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