Become a meta-human the DS way

The new Royal Navy careers campaign has the tagline, ‘Life without limits’ but this isn’t strictly true, it’s life with quite a lot of limits otherwise you might be responsible for starting WW3 or sinking your own battleship. It’s like saying to a newborn, behold, your life has no limits! Which may well be the case but more likely, depending on the geography, ethnicity and creed of the newborn, I’m afraid it’s going to be tricky and some might say limited.


That’s all a bit bleak but fear no more as with the new Nintendo DS, Touch Generation set of games you can become a true meta-human. What’s that, a bit thick you say? That’s ok friend, try new Brain Age or Big Brain Academy and you’ll soon have grey matter, which er, matters.

Tired of people shouting, ‘oooh eee specko, yo four eyes!’ No problem with the new Flash Memory game that trains your eyes to be like a proper person’s.

‘I like you but you just can’t dance.’ Hear this all too often? Shake your money maker with Elite Beat Agents and you’ll soon get a good beating from the rhythm stick.



Wow, you’re better than ever which means you’ll be doing all sorts of crazy, glamorous shit, no time to look after a pet, even a novelty one. Nintendogs to the rescue, no pooper scooping or expensive vet bills here.

Congratulations you’ve evolved into a meta-human, Nintendo be with you.