Saturday in South London part II

Revolution was tacky and devoid of character but at least it was upfront about it. Other chain bars like All Bar One and Weatherspoons try and come across as authentic. A chain bar? Uhhhhh, the clue's in the name.


For such a soulless place the bouncers were very keen to keep most people out. This unwarranted exclusivity would result in my physical and mental discomfort. A friend arrived, who had made the faux pa of wearing shorts. He may as well have turned up naked, but the manageress looked like he'd just taken a dump and offered it up as a flyer.

It was agreed, providing he put some trousers on, entrance to the coolest place around, would be granted. I then made such a massive sacrifice, I think it’s yet to dawn on people's psyches, less they fall down and worship me as the new saviour. We went round to a darkened alley (thank you pantheon) and he swapped into my jeans and I swapped...into my girlfriend's.


The new fashion for skinny jeans goes beyond (and tightly round) me. I could barely walk, the cut, obviously not made for obstruction, caused friction that could start a forest fire and nearly did. Thankfully, the inauthentic: location, place and people gave way to something much more enjoyable.


A boat. A rave boat. Free to get in and with no diplomacy challenged bouncers, it proved the redemption of the evening.